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Sabtu, 11 Februari 2017

Stupid couch!


 Adventures of Matt and Cassey - I didn't exactly have what you'd call a "good day" yesterday. I felt a little down from the moment I woke up, and it stuck. It was partly because of the miserable Canadian winter, but mostly it was the result of heartsickness. Long-distance is hard sometimes (all of the times) and being apart again this time was really wearing on me. It usually follows this sort of cycle: we're together and we're happy, then we say goodbye and it's like we're parting with a piece of ourselves; we're sad and adjusting to being apart, longing, distancing ourselves from our feelings, and finally, breaking down. Yesterday was the breakdown. It was just miserable for both of us.

We got on Skype sometime around noon and Casey was really excited to talk about New Girl (Spoilers...Nick and Jess finally kissed! ) but I was kind of sad so I wasn't in the mood to get excited. Sometimes seeing each other on our computers makes us sad and we both ended up realizing how much we missed being together in person, so we hung up. I was left feeling even sadder because I was (and am) so tired of our situation (and I don't like leaving issues unresolved). I pushed my laptop away from me and got up. I had to get away from it for a bit. I got frustrated and thinking I'd just get that out by hitting something (because that sometimes helps), I turned around and looked at my couch, raised my fist and hit it... right on the armrest--the least cushioned part on that big comfy, cushiony couch. The thin layer of cushion did little to ease the impact. I felt the pain shoot into my hand and immediately realized how stupid I had been. I silently screamed and started pacing the room, holding my wrist in my left hand.

I managed to keep my mind off of the pain though by focusing on how depressed I felt and started to cry. I cried for almost an hour and a half, just feeling everything that I wasn't feeling for days. I was tired of distracting myself and keeping busy. I was tired of ignoring my feelings and pushing the sadness to the back of my mind. I was tired of not having any control over the situation. So I let it all out, and I kept doing it. I kept crying because I'd rather feel what was really going on than pretend that everything was okay and just keep ignoring it. Ignoring it can get you through the day, but continually doing that was making me feel numb and I'd rather feel something real than nothing at all.

And that's the problem: sometimes it's so hard to feel in a long-distance relationship. Sometimes things don't even feel as real. It can be so hard to keep the relationship feeling as real as it does when we're together and once we get stuck in a rut it can be so hard to get out and back to normal. Usually though the problem is with spending too much time with ourselves when we're apart. Being selfish (or focused on the self, the sadness we feel, the longing we feel, etc.) and getting stuck seeing the situation rather than the other individual. To go from being together and being able to love each other, and think of the other before we think of ourselves, back to being alone in a life where it's just you, is really hard.

The trick to making this kind of relationship work (and any relationship really) is that you have to work harder when you're apart (and it's harder to work harder when you're on your own). Don't confuse how you feel about the other person with frustration with the situation (usually the situation is the problem). Don't get too caught up in your own sad feelings and forget about the other person, try to focus on him/her more. Work harder at communication and try to bring each other into your daily lives--this is one of the hardest adjustments. That's good advice for staying close in any relationship, but in a long-distance relationship it's especially important. Just remember never to take each other for granted and to love each other no matter what. Oh and don't go punching any couches.


-M

October 12, 2012

I wrote in Adventures of Matt and Cassey this back in October after heading home overnight on the bus. Be warned, it's happy:

And as I sat there beside her in the car I tried with all my energy to be as acutely attentive as possible so that I could take in as much of her as possible. How she looked. How she felt. How she smelled. All in the hope that maybe if I noticed as much of her as possible, and felt as much as I could in those last brief moments, that they would somehow rub off onto me. That maybe by taking in as much of her as possible those parts might stay with me. That if I just held onto them tight enough I might be able to keep them, somehow, after she was gone. But that didn't happen, and when she was out of sight and out of reach she was still gone and those moments we had together became memories and drifted away, just out of reach of becoming tangible again. Read also : Toyota: Let's Go Places

Because that’s not how people work. You can’t just take parts of them into you and keep them when they’re gone, as if they hold the place of that person when they’re not there anymore. When they’re gone, they’re gone and you can’t bring them back in all their wholeness with little bits of them. Even though I tried to notice her as completely as I could in those last moments, once she was gone, those parts were too. The smells, the warmth and feel of her body and the feeling of her presence in proximity to me. All that was gone with her. And there was a single moment when I realized that my last attempt at holding on to her was failing, and a really scary thought entered my head. I thought, “she’s going to be gone. Just gone. In just a few minutes I am going to be alone. And how can I keep loving her when she’s gone?”
Adventures of Matt+Casey

Thankfully I overcame that despair, because that’s one of the strange things about loving someone. They are completely gone from you when they are away, yet at the same time they’re still present. Speak For MeThere is this thing connecting you even when you’re not together. The wonderful, strange thing about love is that it keeps going. It doesn't stop when they are too far away for you to love them—you just keep loving them no matter what, even if they can’t receive it. You just put your love out there. You reserve it for them and you offer it up to them, and that’s how you know that even though they aren't here now, you’re still together. They’re still somewhere and they are still loved, just as you are. That thought is why after she was out of sight I remembered that we weren't saying good bye, and that we would be together again. Because you can only love a person, and I know I love her and that love has to be going somewhere. It doesn't stop just because I can’t reach her. 

Anyway, there are my sappy thoughts during the sadness of having to readjust to long-distance. I just thought I'd share them.

-M

How To: Curl Your Eyelashes

MattplusCasey.Blogspot.comNote: I already had mascara on, so maybe that's why the heat made my lashes stick up. At first I thought I'd melted/burned them off!

Step 1: Preheat your oven to 400°F
Step 2: Follow recipe for banana chocolate chip muffins (or any recipe of your choosing really)
Step 3: Open oven door and place your face directly into the escaping heat
Step 4: Enjoy your fabulous, doe-eyed new look!

These are my eyelashes after opening the oven!  
Also, sorry for the creepy photo...I kind of expected it to turn out more like this:

By the way, the muffins turned out delicious ^_^


About Adventures of Matt and Cassey

Adventures of Matt+Casey
Hi, this is Matt and Casey! We're a little bit brain-dead from building this blog today (he's been busy in Photoshop and I've been drowning in HTML) and since we're both perfectionists, we've been reduced to the mental capacity of a 6 year old (combined). Case in point, Matt is currently showing me how big he can make his nostrils...

Anyway, this post hereby christens our new blog which was started to document our new life together! We look forward to lots of big changes this year (which you will hear all about.) Thanks for reading! I'm going to google 'brain trauma from staring at a computer screen for too long' now.

-C

Speak For Me

I'm up early on Sunday morning so that I can get into work by 8 am. Right now this is the only real work I can get, you know, besides blogging (but that isn't really bringing in the dollars -- a few cents, but no dollars yet.)

The job is pretty repetitive and kind of sucks, but at least it's something, right? At least that's what I'm told. Anyway, I figure I should take some time to mentally prepare myself for the day. For some reason my boss keeps the radio on "today's best music" so I'm basically stuck listening to songs about getting drunk and partying all the time and having short-lived, meaningless relationships with random strangers. This is a manual labor job, by the way, with 4 young guys working, but this is what we have to listen to all day.
also read : Paperman "Owl City: I Found Love" (Disney Short)

Ughh.
"And the music on my radio, ain't supposed to make me feel alone"

Is it just me, or does it make anyone else really sad to think that our society thinks that love is passion and that a relationship is about sex, and that sex isn't about love but about pleasure? Doesn't anyone else wish there were more songs and shows and stories about healthy, deep, real, loving relationships? And that family was still a thing that people valued? And that 20-30 year olds weren't still acting like teenagers (and running the media and therefore majority of our culture's influence)? Why doesn't John's music get played anymore? Is it because honest and real music isn't popular anymore?

There was a time when the older people who were mature and knew things were the people that taught us how to act, not the teenagers who haven't grown up yet. Lets download movies for free without membership or signing up hihi.. 

I'm not the only grumpy old man, am I? 

-M

Paperman "Owl City: I Found Love" (Disney Short)

Hey, this is Matt. I'm making my first contribution to the blog... I found this clip to the Pixar short Paperman  and re-watched it for the first time after seeing it in theaters with Casey.


I remember watching it and instantly falling in love with how it looked. The 2D but 3D look and the black and white with the red lipstick, and the tone and music and everything. All that plus the incredibly sweet story. Casey and I were both really impressed and totally immersed in it. If you want free download movies site just doit.. heheheh

Right after, we started talking about dressing up as them for Halloween one year. We liked it so much that we added it to our list of favourite films, and started making a list of all of our favourite movies. You know how when you see a movie that is just perfect and it takes that special place in your memory? This was one of those films.

-M

Toyota: Let's Go Places

Good ideas are so wasted on car commercials. Why is it that every time I see/hear something moving during the commercial break, it ends up being a car ad? This morning, while catching up on my shows via Hulu, I saw this video:


"Inspiration doesn't favor those who sit still, it dances with the daring and rewards the courageous with ideas that excite [and] challenge."

The beginning was nice enough to watch; I'm a sucker for scenic car trips. But then they had to go and actually inspire me! How annoying! I almost felt guilty listening to that quote and wanting to stencil it on my walls and tattoo it on my ribs like all those deep female celebrities have been doing. I guess just thinly veiling my sole intention of putting pretty words on my blog with a post about the gall of using emotive language to drive consumerism will be good enough...

-C
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